I'm tired of pretending that I'm willing to change being rigid or that I'm willing to break away from my routine that I'm comfortable with.
I know that I have some extreme OCD tendencies that hold me back from doing things.
I know that I'm not adventurous or spontaneous or easy going.
I know that this is unfortunate and it sucks, but I also know that there are worse things.
No, I don't want to go shopping 30 minutes before lunchtime and eat lunch at 3:30 PM.
I'll eat my lunch around noon, like I always do.
No, I don't want to sleep in instead of getting up early to run at the same time every single day.
I'll run my 5+ miles while everyone else is sleeping, like I always do.
No, I don't want to eat something else for lunch.
I'll eat my delicious veggie sandwich, piece or fruit, and dessert like I do every single day.
Completely unnecessary and obsessive compulsive? Yes.
Well too bad, that's just who I am and I can't change that.
I can't get over the lives of some of the people that I went to high school with. Kaity is off roughing it in the wilderness of Nevada. Steph is off in the real world with a real job with a real paycheck. I just read this one guy from high school's blog post about living and teaching in Africa. Then there are the numerous people who are engaged or married. They're buying their own places and starting a completely new life. I still can't wrap my head around the fact that I'm 22 years old, soon to be 23. Honestly, I feel more like I'm 19 or 20. I definitely don't feel any older than 21, if that.
Christmas is a week away and I'm done buying Christmas presents from my mom, dad, and Alyssa. I would love to spend more on them or buy presents for my friends but 1. I have no money, no income, and I hate using my debit card or taking money from my dad. 2. My friends and I don't really even exchange gifts so there isn't much of a point to go out of my way to get them stuff. We might be doing a White Elephant gift exchange or something though so that would be something at least.
While I'm on the topic of Christmas, I've felt strangely indifferent about it this year. I haven't felt like listening to Christmas music, which is so unlike me. I'm not really even excited about it. I am excited to go to Kentucky and see Grandma, the Gergels, and the New York Pojmans though.
I always think of numerous topics that I could blog about and then forget all of them when I sit down to write. So, I will just make a blog post about random things that I can think of to blog about.
I'm pretty much done with classes for the semester. I have one final on Wednesday but I'm not too concerned about it. I didn't get much studying done with weekend which makes me feel super guilty. However, I have two entire days of nothingness to study for it still. So I just need to relax.
Today when I went "grocery shopping" in the dining center they had pears and grapes and fresh Parmesan Cheese and delicious M & M cookie bars. It was a very successful grocery shopping trip.
I can't get over the fact that I have one semester left of college.
I'm so scared to 1. student teach. 2. enter into the "real world."
I've decided that I really must make it a priority over break to read more novels. I always say that I'm going to read in my free time, but then get distracted by other activities such as crafting and baking and organizing.
So yeah, a pretty random and pointless post but I felt the need to post SOMETHING since I've barely been blogging these past few months.
I've stopped pretending that I like winter. I hate it. I hate being cold all the time. I hate having to drive or bike or walk or run in bad weather. I hate wearing 573 layers every time I leave the house. I'm not saying that I don't enjoy certain aspects of winter. Snow is nice, but it is also cold and hazardous. I love Christmas, but that's just one day of the long and brutal winter. I love drinking hot chocolate and hot tea and other delicious holiday drinks, but I drink warm beverages know matter what the temperature is. Cold weather is not a factor in my hot beverage consumption rate. I also hate how it gets dark obnoxiously early. It makes me so disoriented. When it gets dark at 4:00 in like should I be eating dinner? Is it almost time for bed? Nope. I wish I could just go south for the winter and then return in the spring. That would be convenient. At least winter is gorgeous to look at in pictures. I will give it that.
