That's what time it is right now. Well, 3:23 if you want to be exact. Since I don't have classes on Mondays/Wednesday/Fridays, I've determined that 3:30 PM on these days is my favorite time of the day, and here is why...
I wake up somewhat early every morning to run or workout or in my current situation do rehab exercises/core/arm strengthening for about 40 minutes. I am a morning person and I do love exercising. However, in the back of my mind I always feel a sort of time constraint to workout, shower, and get ready all before I venture into the kitchen for breakfast.
The time in between breakfast and lunch, I feel pressured to be productive and do homework. However, I also feel like procrastinating and checking up on everything that I've missed since last night on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, etc. Therefore, that time is not ideal either.
By the time 3:00 ish rolls around, I have gotten done a decent amount of homework for the day. Usually, I relocate from my desk to my bed to do some less strenuous homework such as reading. That, or I allow myself time to catch up on an episode of "How I Met Your Mother" or "Pretty Little Liars." This is also the time when I eat my daily orange, like clockwork. Hey, that's a books isn't it? Clockwork Orange? hahahaha.
Anyways, It's a time when I feel accomplished (enough) and calm (enough). You may be wondering (doubtful) what time I dislike the most. Well, I'd have to say that lately it's been around 9:00 PM. I have nothing else to do and I'm tired and I really, really want to go to bed but I feel too guilty/old lady like going to bed three hours earlier than your average college student. This is my life. Afternoon oranges and old lady bed times. And I'm okay with that.
It really does. Just like the title of the excellent Noah and the Whale song, L.I.F.E. G.O.E.S. O.N. When I came home from the hospital a little over two weeks ago, I was totally and completely miserable. I felt sad and scared and depressed and, worst of all, sorry for myself. I absolutely can't stand self pity, but I couldn't help it. However, things are slowly but surely looking up. I can shower again. I no longer have to give myself a shot every morning. I am not in much pain at all. I'm once again ahead on my school work. Even though I'm still on crutches (pretty treacherous in the winter I may add) I am able to go out and do things. Originally, I thought that there was no way that I was going to be able to go to the Avett Brothers concert that I had already brought tickets to. But I contacted the ticket lady and she made sure that my friend Jessie and I had a handicap seat. The concert was yesterday and it was AMAZING. I love the Avett Brothers so much. Sometimes the universe appears to be working against you, or maybe it doesn't just appear to be, but actually IS working against you. Who knows. Nevertheless, I am holding strong to my belief that everything happens for a reason, whether of not that reason every manifests itself in the end.
It's 10:35 in the morning, and already I have this overwhelming feeling of just how much my family and friends love and care about me. At the moment, I could care less that I don't have a Valentine. I could care less that Valentines Day is super commercialized and too hyped up and is "singles awareness day." I am not going to let the obnoxious amounts of Tweets and Facebook posts that are dominating my social network feeds bother me. Here is why I am feeling so loved:
First, my morning began with opening up one of my daily gifts from the Wheaton Warrenville South Special Services department (the school that my mom works at). The department put together a large bag full of presents. Each gift is dated and I get to open up one a day for about two weeks! It's awesome. It's the first thing that I do when I wake up in the morning. They also all signed a card for me and wrote a little message. It was very touching.
Secondly, I go into the kitchen to find that my roommate Jessie had gotten each of us two frosted, sprinkled sugar cookies along with a cute little note attached to it. Of course, I had to sample one of the cookies along with my breakfast.
Then (and here is where I really started to get emotional) I opened up the Valentine's Day card from my dad. There was a $25 iTunes gift card in it, which of course I appreciated. However, the best part, without a doubt, was that he had filled up the entire inside of the card with a long and heartfelt message. I started tearing up a bit as I read all of the uplifting and positive things that he had to say about me, my injury, and how proud he is of me. It was beautifully written and to be completely honest, I didn't think that my dad possessed that sort of poetic writing ability. My parents have been there for me throughout this entire terrible situation, and I couldn't feel more blessed to have them in my life.
Lastly, I received a "Get Well" package in the mail from the New York Pojmans (my mom's brother and his family). This package included a card, a huge bag of organic trail mix, and some mint chocolate cookie things. Last week, the Swiatlo family sent me a get well card along with a $25 Jimmy John's gift card. I feel spoiled!
Literally, broken. My hip is was broken/fractured (apparently they are the same thing). I suffered through the entire weekend with a broken hip because I was too dumb/stubborn/in denial to go to the hospital. When I had my appointment at the Student Health Services on Monday, they saw my x-ray and immediately called an ambulance to take me to the hospital. I had surgery at about 5:00 that night. I have a 7 inch incision on my leg that is stapled up. I have a screw in my hip. I have to give myself a shot in the stomach every morning. I can't shower for 10 days.
I'm just going to leave it at that. Because I don't have anything else to say.
Oh wait, I do have a final thought. I love my mom. I love her for how much she cares about me and how much she helped me through these past few days from hell.
I haven't been writing much lately, and I probably won't be for a while. To some extent, I've been shutting myself off from everyone and everything. I'm trying as hard as I can to stay strong, but it's been a struggle. Two weeks ago I strained my groin muscle while out on a run. It was freezing cold and super windy. I was about half a mile from my apartment, so I slowly and painfully limped back. I was devastated. Especially since four months ago I had a very similar terrible experience and strained the groin muscle on the other leg. However, my injury was getting better. I was able to walk around fine. I was even to the point where I was able to do some cross training (biking, weights, etc.) at the gym. After an excellent workout yesterday morning, I was happy that things were finally starting to look up.
Around 11 AM yesterday, I went to take the recycling to the bins that are about a block down the street. There was a lot of it. I was carrying a box full of bottles and cardboard along with a garbage bag full of other random recyclables. All of the sudden I stepped wrong on an uneven piece of sidewalk and went down, HARD, RIGHT ON MY STRAINED GROIN/HIP. I couldn't move. I've never been in so much pain in my entire life. The ambulance came. They could barely get me into the car. My leg was shaking uncontrollably. There was shooting pain all through my hip and groin. Last night, I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to lift my leg enough to get into my bed. So I just sat there, in pain, not sure what to do. I hate, hate, hate self pity. But it's hard to avoid when you can't even bend over enough to put socks on your cold feet.
I know that there are always worse things that could have happened. I know that there is nothing that I can do about it now. I know that this blog post sounds all dramatic and like I'm asking for sympathy or something. I'm not. Don't feel bad for me, because that would just make me feel bad that you are feeling bad for me. It's a vicious cycle. It's ironic that two weeks ago when I strained my groin, I felt like it was the end of the world. But now I'm aware that it wasn't as bad as it could have been. Now, I'm in sooo much more pain. I'm so much more limited on what I can do. Now my pain from two weeks ago doesn't even seem so bad.
I'm just going to say it, because it's the truth. Because I need to get it off my chest. Because I need to get over it and move on and be strong and be positive. I am totally and completely miserable right now. Well, I suppose that it can only go up from here. I hope...
