RIP Peli

My fish died today.  He has been on a slow decline ever since I returned from South Carolina.  I am really hoping that it wasn't because my dad appears to have overfed him while I was gone.  Every time I walk into my room I have to do a double take when I don't see Peli's tank sitting on my desk.  I was pretty attached to that little fish.  Why do my fish always die so soon?! Maybe I should take this as a sign. 

My dad and I had some nice bonding time over tacos.  It was just us two for dinner and we had a great conversation about work and school and life.  He mentioned that my mom had told him about my blog post about his negativity and that he was trying to be less negative.  Although I'm glad that he now has a heads up about it, I feel bad that he seems to have taken it to heart.

I finished up with my Educational Psychology online class today.  Now I have to deal with three more weeks of my TESOL class that is so confusing and over my head.  Since it's only  a four week long online class, there are assignments every day AND a 10-15 page research paper.  Oye Vey.  Pretty much all of my time is consumed by school work and actual work, but I'm somewhat okay with that.  I am managing to keep busy during this friendless summer and making some good money at the same time.  

For some reason I have become very concerned about wasting time lately.  The days are slipping away way too quickly.  There is so much that I want to accomplish each day and not enough time to do it.  Do I get ahead in my summer class? Do I read my book? Should I actually allow myself to sit back and do nothing? It is an ongoing inner struggle.  

What Could Have Been

I haven't been blogging very much lately and I'm not really sure why.  It's a combination of forgetting to do so, working on my online summer classes a lot, and just not really having much that I want to write about.

This morning it was raining when I woke up.  Although I try to avoid running inside at all costs, I opted for the rec. so that I could run on the indoor track.  Usually I just run in the rain (even if it's pouring) but I wasn't feeling it today.  I was very confused when I saw a ton of younger girls in huge, prom-like dresses strutting around the gym at the community center.  Apparently it was the Regional baton twirler pageant.  

About half way into my run a woman who was probably in her 40's entered the track.  It was a frightening sight for several reasons. First of all, her body was freakishly thin.  Her thighs were non existent.  By that I mean that her legs were so skinny that there wasn't even a different between the circumference of her calves compared to that of her upper legs.  Her shoulder bones protruded from underneath her tank top.  The yoga shorts that she was wearing, which are meant to be skin tight, were baggy on her. 

Senior year of high school, when my body had been tormented by the years of cross country running paired with restrictive eating, my body looked very similar to hers.  The pictures from those years in my life still haunt me sometimes.  Although I no that I still have more work to do with looking healthy again, I am on my way. I actually have thighs.  I have newly formed fat on my stomach which I have learned to embrace as a sign of progress.   

This woman was a look into what could have been if I had continued down that path.  Unfortunately when I was in Spain I made a few backwards steps, but I have recovered from that.  Last week when I saw my family for my cousins wedding, two of my aunts actually commented to my mom that my body was looking good.  I can't even explain how much that meant to me. 

I wonder what that woman thinks when she looks in the mirror.  I wonder what her story is.  I wonder if she is worried or embarrassed about her current state.  Or is she just in denial? Possibly. I guess I will never know...

Open Bar and Giant Cupcakes

Mom, Alyssa, and I road tripped down to South Carolina.  We left at 5 AM on Thursday.  The drive was 15 hours long and slightly brutal.  My contribution to the driving consisted of taking the first shift of three hours.  I only drove for three hours on the way back too, but Mom and Alyssa didn't mind.  We stayed in South Carolina until Monday, leaving at 6 AM (so 5 AM our time because it is in a different time zone).  The trip was so much fun! We rented a big house with the New York Pojmans, Grandma, and the Gergles.  On Friday and Sunday we spent the majority of the day at Folly Beach, which was only a ten minute drive from our rented house.


Saturday was cousin Anna's wedding. The reception was at a hotel that was right along the beach.  An open bar allowed us to FINALLY get Beau to live a little and have some drinks ;) I discovered that a whisky ginger is rather delicious.  The center pieces at each table was a hugeee cupcake.  They were made by one of the winners of the TV show Cupcake Wars.  Pretty Sweet.  Our table had a red velvet one, which was apparently in high demand.  Alyssa and I were on the other side of the dance floor plotting to steal the cupcakes from the unused tables.  We both looked over at our table and witnessed a man take a huge slice of the red velvet cupcake from our table without any of our cousins who were sitting at the table noticing.  We then determined that it was a cupcake free for all.  We also managed to leave the ceremony with three huge and uneaten cupcakes, which our family devoured for dessert the following night.  

I usually don't make posts that are so "diary like" but I feel like it is necessary to document this major event of the summer.  The days are flying by way too quickly.  I can't believe that it is already mid June.  Time needs to slow down is all that I can say. 

Thank you.

Yesterday I was making myself some tacos before I headed off to work.  It was a simple meal to prepare. All I was doing was warming up leftover black beans and corn shells, cutting up a few avocado slices, and using leftover Caputo's salsas.  My dad came into the kitchen, saw me preparing dinner, and said "thanks for taking care of your dinner."  I think that my parents often forget that for the majority of the year (when I am at school) I prepare my own meals every single day.  I forget exactly what I was talking about with my mom, but I said something encouraging to her.  "you're right!" she exclaimed.  "Thank you for the advise.  Thank you for being you." (I can't remember her exact wording, but you get the jist). It was an interesting compliment, but still very nice to receive.  

 I love when my parents thank me and show appreciation for things that, in reality, don't really require acknowledgment or praise.  When people have a special skill or  talent that sets them apart for the rest, it is easy to compliment them.  If you are artistic, it shouldn't be much of a challenge to obtain compliments on your art, especially by those who are not artistic.  If you are a fast runner, which the times and places will clearly indicate, it is very likely that people will want to congratulate you and acknowledge such accomplishments.  These types of "skill" compliments are great, but they really aren't based on YOU or your personality.  

Isn't it sad that giving someone a compliment such as "I love your hair!" or "That is such a pretty shirt." is frequent and normal sounding but compliments such as "You are a really generous and caring person" or "Thanks for taking the extra time to do ____ for me/us/them etc." are infrequent and sound somewhat awkward?

Uhg now that I am talking about compliments I am thinking about the 10 page paper that I had to right for my ESL class about the compliment study that we conducted. It was terrible. I am also thinking about how, in that same semester, I took Grammar and we learned about adjectival complements (with an "e" instead of an "i").  Now I am not sure which type is spelled with an "i" and which one with an "e." Ohh the struggle...   

Simplicity Revisited

A month or two ago I wrote a post about how I wanted to simplify my life.  This summer my friends are either staying at school or unavailable due to jobs and such.  With no one around to hang out with you think I would be bored out of my mind right? Actually, I must say that I am really enjoying the simplicity of my summer at the moment.  Here is my typical day: wake up, go for a run, eat breakfast, work on my online summer class, eat lunch, in the afternoon do some shopping or baking or crafting or reading or napping, eat dinner, work at DQ 6:00-10:30ish, come home, go to bed, repeat.  My life is very chill and non eventful, and I am loving it.

My major concern at the moment is how much my dad and I seem to be butting heads lately.  I am trying as hard as I can to not call him out as he talks negatively about anyone and anything.  I feel bad for him because I no that he is very discouraged about his current jobless situation. The problem is that he doesn't seem to have a problem with talking negatively about people.  I always try to focus on what people are doing right and not what they are doing wrong, but he does not seem to share this strategy.  Today we were talking about vegans during dinner. I said that he doesn't know anything about the subject  he snapped at me, claiming that he does.  

On a lighter note, I have made it my goal to be more informed with what is going on in the world.  I am happy to report that I have been reading the paper daily.  I just hope that I can keep up with this. 

I don't know about you, but I'm (not) feeling 22

For anyone who doesn't know, the title is reference to the Taylor Swift song.  As a new employee at Dairy Queen, every one is always amazed and/or shocked when I inform them that I am actually Alyssa's older sister.  They think I am definitely the younger sibling or once and a while people think that we are twins. In reality, I am two years older.  When someone makes this common mistake, I always tell them "Don't worry about it.  I get that all the time."  

Today at Dominick's I got a ticket to enter one of two raffles because I donated a dollar to cancer research.  The cashier woman told me to write my name and phone number on the ticket and drop it in either the Starbucks gift basket box or the lottery tickets gift basket box. "You might want to put your mom's name on the ticket if you choose the lotto basket though because they might not let you claim the basket if you're not old enough."  As always, I kindly informed her that actually, I am 22 years old.  

I definitely don't feel like I'm 22 years old at all.  If I had to assign myself an age, I would say that I feel about 19 (or possibly 20 at the oldest). It's so strange how everyone is growing up and moving on to new chapters in their lives.  My best friends have all graduated college.  Stephanie started her new job yesterday.  High school feels so far in the past yet I don't feel like I've graduated four whole years ago.  I am perfectly content with the fact that I have one year of college left because I am sure not ready to be out in the real world just yet.  

Creatures of Habit

Part of me feels like I have already written about this topic.  If I have, oh well because I am going to write about it again.

Although I am somewhat on the extreme end of this, in general people really do get stuck in their own habits and ways.  In most college classes there are no assigned seats. Even though everyone can sit where ever they choose to sit, they all sit in the exact same seat every day.  If one day some one is not in their typical seat, strange and confused looks are given. It is very likely that the habitual seat owner will awkwardly hover near the chair in hopes of obtaining their normal territory. I have actually seen this happen more than once. In one of my English classes this semester, I made the mistake of choosing a seat that was pretty much front and center, which normally would not be problematic.  However, no one else chose to sit in any or the surrounding desks.  Several times I was very tempted to relocate, but I just didn't feel like I could.  Even in huge lecture hall classes, mostly everyone sticks to the same seat for the entire semester.  

My meals (except for dinner) are very habitual.  A lot of people typically exhibit very predictable eating habits too though, especially when it comes to eating out.  People get stuck in their "usual," and I am no exception.  When I worked at Dunkin Donuts, there were several people who same in at the same time each and every day and ordered the exact same thing.  There was Large coffee with one Splenda and easy cream guy.  There was small coffee extra cream, easy sugar and one Old Fashion dounut cute old (Asian?) man.  He was one of my favorite regulars. 

At Panera, one of my favorite restaurants, I know that I like several of their soups, salads, and sandwiches.  I am up for trying anything and therefore know what I like the best.  Since I don't go to Panera very often, I know that I will for sure getting the You Pick Two with the Mediterranean Veggy sandwich and the chicken noodle soup.  Now that meat is out of the question, I either get a Classic Salad or the vegetable soup.

I used to care more that I am an extreme creature of habit.  At this point, I could care less though.  Meals time requires little thought.  My alarm is set for the same time as always. I like starting my day early.  My run lengths are determined by what day it is.  I like routine.  It's who I am and I am not planning on changing that.  

Gay Marriage

I don't understand or like politics and I don't follow anything regarding them.  
I don't keep up on anything that is happening with celebrities because I simply don't care. 
Even though I wish I kept up with the news more, I usually am pretty uninformed about what is going on in the world.  

One thing that I have been (semi) following is the Illinois Gay Marriage bill.  Yesterday, I saw online that they did not approve the bill for gay marriage in Illinois.  Yesterday I was also searching Pinterest for vegetarian and pro gay marriage things (these are the types of things that I do with my free time), and I came across this:

That is sooo true.  Seriously though, if two people are in love, why shouldn't they be allowed to marry?  I also saw this on Pinterest:

Once again, so true.  My friend said that one reason why some don't want gay marriage to be legal is because people might abuse it and marry their friend simply for the marriage benefits.  uhhm HELLO, you can do the exact same thing (marrying your friend and scamming the system) with man/woman marriages too. 

Ellen DeGeneres is, without a doubt, one of my favorite celebrities. She and her wife Portia de Rossi were married in August of 2008. Although it is very unlike me to take a strong stance about controversial issues such as this one, I would definitely be willing to strongly voice my opinion about this one.  

Every person should be allowed to live their life as they chose to live it.

Having sex with a horse is legal in 23 states.

Apparently in Arkansas you can marry if you are under the age of 18 and have a parents consent.  

Yet gay marriage is legal in only 12 states (I think).  

Think about that...