no sé

As a double major in English Education and Spanish, I am qualified to teach either one at the high school level.  I also have my middle level endorsement, a TESOL (Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages) minor, and apparently an unintentional middle level social sciences endorsement.  I know that as a first year teacher, I am going to take any job that I can get.  However, I often go back and forth between which subject area I would prefer, if given the choice.

I love Spanish.  I really do.  I love everything about the language.  I love the look of it.  I love reading Spanish novels in my Spanish Literature class.  I love when I have my iPod on shuffle and a Spanish song plays.  What I don't love, is that although I have come sooo far with my knowledge of the Spanish language, I still feel like my oral skills in the language are not up to par, and it scares the hell out of me.

English. Obviously, I love to write.  Writing has always been something that I have excelled in.  I, like most people, have never found the grammar aspect of English to be very enjoyable.  However, this semester I am taking a grammar class with K. Aaron Smith. He not only comes to class everyday with a smile on his face, excited to teach a seemingly dull subject, but he also makes learning grammar fun.  I know, this seems impossible.  My Advanced Composition teacher this semester is another example of a passionate professor who truly makes her class memorable and worth while.  If i do end up teaching English, I aspire to be English teachers like these two.  

Do I even want to possibly teach middle school?  At first I was thinking definitely not.  But little by little I am starting to warm up to the idea.  If I am going to be 100% honest with myself, I believe that I would feel most comfortable and the least stressed as an English teacher.  I know that I would be completely satisfied with doing this.  I feel like deep down inside I would choose to teach Spanish though.  But then again, do I really want to teach a subject that I don't feel like I have mastered to its full extent? 

I DON'T KNOW. More and more I am starting to believe that everything happens for a reason though.  So for now I am just going to wait and see where fate leads me.